The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
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One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
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My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
as a side note pls kill me
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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