Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
