As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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