I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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