nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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