Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
