her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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