Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
