We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
