Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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