Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
