Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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