508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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