capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You may now shotgun with the bride
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
