I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
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