I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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