Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
