Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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