is this the sara with the beer cane?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
