Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize