I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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