I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
