Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I think I am morally bankrupt
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
