whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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