i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
