I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
cat food counts as protein by the way
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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