Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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