is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
