I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
