U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
