I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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