The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
