end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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