we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
