Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
