dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize