Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I cut my penus on the lid.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize