she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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