The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
