I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize