We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
