girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Mom said you looked used
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
