just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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