I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
