Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
