I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
