Having a random hookup so left but love u
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
