fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
