I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
The Olympian is in my bed
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
