Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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