Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
