I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
