Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
