marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
