my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
