Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
