a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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