I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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