Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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