Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
