i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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