if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
