just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
