Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
