The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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