Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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