I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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