I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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